From Overheard Everywhere: Raps White People Like

Go here, for this:

At this particular time the regional legal decision-making body known as NWA has assembled to deliver judgement

His excellency Judge Dre has nominated himself as adjudicator in the matter of NWA versus the Police Department of Silverlake, Los Angeles.

For the prosecution, I present Emcee Ren, A small block of Ice and an easy failing grade in CIE level examinations.

If everyone would please calm themselves and resume their seats, a small block of Ice will present testimony.

Are you so inclined to speak no falsehood,

and only truth, lest the lord take your African-American posterior and strike it down?

Would it please you to tell all assembled the matters you have taken grievance against?

I am upset with authority.

I am informing you of this knowledge from a place generally considered to be outside standard jurisdiction.

I believe an element of race to be causing these issues.

I am not of the same racial background as my fellow man,

And the police department of Silverlake, Los Angeles has taken it upon themselves to exercise lawful termination of myself and otherwise within my social strata regardless of cause.

I am not overly pleased with this, I am not, to my knowledge,

The appropriate person who may or may not be engaged in illicit night-time careers, and / or engage in conduct with a person from whom life has emerged, regardless of their symbol of employment within the police department of Silverlake, Los Angeles or their rifle,

To be violently struck, with intention, only to be held in contempt of civic authority.

I believe this aggressors would react differently should we be placed on equal terms, perhaps upon meeting in a detention centre.

I believe their issue stems largely from my youth,

which they believe is asynchronous to my possession of symbols of wealth and status.

An illegal search and seizure was attempted on my automobile,

Stemming from an incorrect belief that everyone of similar appearance to me deals in opiates.

The common approved view of individuals such as myself is that we belong in correctional facilities,

Not expensive automobiles such as I was driving the night the incident occurred, to which my colleague Lorenzo can attest.

Grievous bodily harm might occur if this happens in future,

At the end of which, clear demarcation of the scene is necessary

To identity the event which has occurred at that position.

I believe the injured party will have difficulty with consumption of food and beverage.

I am not sure if Kraft-Ebbing’s late nineteenth century term ‘Homosexual’ is an accurate description of the police department of Silverlake, Los Angeles,

But law-contrary searches have suggested this to me in intimate detail.

It is my view that without semiotic markers of violence, these individuals are without sexual congress.

If by chance the officers present happen to be of mixed race,

The violence inherent in the situation may escalate,

With expressions of solidarity provided on behalf of the minority attendant.

A small bock of ice will appear en masse,

Should any person of illicit conduct with a life-giver happen to festoon himself in garments of a cerulean or azure nature.

Purely because of my origin within West Hollywood, these men (with inappropriate night jobs) are afeared of my visage.

I am a young person of coarse African descent on a path set out by generals of old,

At the end of which I imagine is only more violence.

I see visions of members of the police department of Silverlake, Los Angeles, being struck down before their time.

So, yes, Judge Dre. I do indeed have an issue with the accused.

I am upset with authority.

I am upset with authority.

I am upset with authority.

I am upset with authority.

And here for this:

You are perfectly aware that you harbour amorous affection towards me, and I am perfectly aware that you want to express them,

Raise your vocals to a greater height at any moment,and I shall endeavour to be at your side, unquestionably.

I am perfectly aware of my amorous affection for you. It is logical that I believe you to be the beating organ in my chest, then.

I am stalwart in my conviction that we shall not once in our lives part company.

You never informed me if our amorous nature was public. Woman, cease your games!

“My affection for you is simply platonic”. I cannot comprehend that statement!

You informed me such: “There is another” and caught my gaze with a stare that tames,

Prima-Affection, Prima-Disappointment!

And I expressed myself in these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

In your interest, my person would have assailed any task,

But I am afraid this surpasses comprehension.

I cannot remain stalwart, for you are exheunting such as liquid from a flask,

No object is unworthy if you wish it, nor any jeweled adornment beyond purchasisation.

I have come undone! Infant Personage bring your love glue gun to me,

And vigorously assail me until I awake from the phantasmic nightmare

My physical location is descending quickly,

I cannot comprehend that the recipient of my first expression of amorous intent will no longer fix me with her glare.

And I expressed myself in these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

And I expressed myself in these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

When I was but a young boy, I had my first expression of amorous intent

None in the land held a candle to my dear Infant Personage

Not one kept us apart whom would reach climax with you beneath them,

My mind I lost, as if a vice given up for Lent,

I was wakened readily, no need to purchase hot beverages in cafés in Stevenage.

My internal blood-pressure regulator lost pace,

It would stumbled upon glimpsing her visage,

In our place of education, during intervals,

I would like it very much if I could approach her outside that time without fear of mace

Her wonder was so complete it would baffle a corsage

My internal blood-pressure regulator has failed, but I say this despite issues medical:

Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, no

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

I am left bereft

(I say, I say, I say)

(I say, I say, I say)

Now I am left bereft

(I say, I say, I say)

(I say, I say, I say)

Now I am left bereft

(I say, I say, I say)

(I say, I say, I say)

Now I am left bereft, in all understanding

I am left bereft.

Genius.